the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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