no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
