That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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