I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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