I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
