I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
And then my night got REAL pukey
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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