Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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