Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I could fuck to npr.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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