no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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