Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
