Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
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The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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