if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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