your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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