I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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