My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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