Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I did not marry a roomba.
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