Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
