She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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