Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
