I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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