Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
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Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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