I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
