theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....