Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa