Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.