I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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