trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
