It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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