i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
that may or may not have been my penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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