Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
