I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
