the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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