pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
