Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
