hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
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