I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
