What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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