Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
