Don't you send me to vm
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
