Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
