He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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