come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
