and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
