smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
