That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
