i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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