Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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