We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
