She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sorry about my life...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
