Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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