The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
