My nipple is on Facebook.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
