ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
