My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
