you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize