Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you traded sex for a burrito?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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