He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
