is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Randomize