yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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