covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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