The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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