I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
