I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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